I guess I notice some things differently from how others do
such as how the seaweed chicken from different stalls around school are skewered differently.




It makes me feel lonely sometimes.

resurface.

I can't help but fear that my surprisingly good results are a curse. Everywhere I look, I seem to find things I will not get to do now that I have enrolled locally and not in the UK. I will not get to watch Sherlock Season 3 in UK, I will not be able to use the cowl I've knitted, take short breaks to other cities, visit museums, visit places of historical literary interest, feed ducks by the river, meet hedgehogs, attend lectures for other courses such as English and Philosophy, feel like a stranger, disappear in the crowd and grow as a person..... Among other things.

And I'm afraid that this fear will haunt me throughout the next four years of local education as I constantly wonder it would be like to be somewhere else. Is it possible to be so absorbed in being somewhere else that I lose my presence here?

I need to start to be myself
'Cause I'm sick of everybody else

A photo from a trip I took to the aquarium a few days before I stopped working, maybe a month ago. School has started and meeting young people from the same age group as me after a good 10 months has been an exciting and nerve-wrecking experience. It seems that my awkwardness is truly part of me, and I need to come to terms with it rather than allowing it to hinder me.

By the way, I am more awkward than you.

Coincidence?

On bloglovin' :)

As my contract draws to an end, I'm starting to feel rather.... Afraid. Afraid of the uncertainty the future holds, afraid of not having anyone to tell me what to do, afraid of having to deal with my own problems instead of the problems of my boss and customers.

I can feel another depressive mood coming on, and I don't know how long it will last this time.

To read;

I should really read more.

To lose myself in another world, another life,

and realise how insignificant my troubles are

and how much deeper another's sorrow 

can be.

Life's been too good to me for the past two months in terms of results, university applications and such.

I feel like I should really be writing more ughhhhhhh.