Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The biggest lie

It's been difficult trying to stay positive, or at least less negative/anxious recently, I feel like I've been putting in effort to be more friendly but end up being perceived as awkward/weird/shy.

That's probably why I've been putting off doing this "one positive thing a day" challenge. Guess I'm afraid to admit to myself that not a single thing succeeded in lifting my spirits on certain days.

5th to 12th Feb: ???

13th Feb: Managed to survive the day, i.e. found friendly people I didn't feel too weird with.
14th Feb: The workshop wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. A clear example of how my anxiety can get ahead of me and create detailed scenarios a million times worse than reality. Happy valentine's! (ok not really)
15th Feb: Am on ASOS now and apparently I made a huge order on this day. Still waiting for it to arrive!
16th Feb: Got bitten by a dog. Since I'm typing this retrospectively, I can say that it was actually a rather interesting experience. Honestly it was nowhere near as painful as I had expected a dog bite to be. It looked pretty bad but it didn't hurt much and seems to be healing fairly well. :)
17th Feb:
18th Feb: Really appreciate that a friend ate again even though he wasn't hungry so that I didn't have to eat alone... Actually I wouldn't have minded if he had been honest but it was the thought that went into his actions that made me glad. A fun day fooling others into believing that there was a test to study for. One of them still thinks the test is real!
19th Feb: Had lunch with old friends and I managed to arrive on time.
20th Feb: ? Went to the library with K after class to print notes.
21st Feb: Stayed at home the entire day, save for some time around 10pm when I realised that I'd run out of paper and I needed some to print my notes on ASAP. Managed to get some before the shops closed.
22nd Feb: Had an approximately 4 hour lunch with some course mates. Clearly, we can hold a conversation. So glad no one turned to their phones too much (pet peeve of mine). Borrowed a bunch of books from the library.
23rd Feb: Had lunch at some relatives' place. Didn't talk to anyone but it was interesting seeing them.
24th Feb: S came over to my house to look at the dog farm and we baked cookies. Prepared some for D as a birthday present, I'm glad I did. It's been so long since I've seen her.
25th Feb: If I recall correctly I completed Battle Royale in the morning of this day. Proceeded to have a pretty rough day in the library, then met J for dinner and a walk in the evening.
26th Feb: Bumped into my brother on the way home and had a chat with him. It probably seems strange to list this but though we stay in the same house we hardly see or speak to each other much.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

30th Jan - 4th Feb

30th Jan: Met my friend and his dog.
31st Jan: Ate a lot...?
1st Feb: Went for a jog (probably negates the heavy eating)
2nd Feb: Dinner with some relatives I haven't seen in a year.
3rd Feb: Unexpectedly friendly people in one of my classes. Long meeting, but I felt it was worthwhile.
4th February: Had a fun train ride as I bumped into two acquaintances. Had a nice Tuesday lunch and class.

I feel compelled to keep the details vague as I don't really want to divulge to many details lest I somehow end up being identified. It's a bit sad to leave so much out, I really hope I will write the full details out in my personal diary.